It Sucks Being a Fat Kid

I had so many good intentions about this blog, but I really want it to be funny, and well life fell apart.  I didn't feel so funny anymore.  My dad has cancer, and it's been making me fatter.  Luckily - he needs a bone marrow transplant.  Luckily because I found out today that in order to donate bone marrow you have to have a BMI below 40.  I'm going to lose weight now to save my dad's life.  WATCH ME! 

I'll try to update more often.  

So back to the topic of this blog.  I've pretty much been fat since kindergarten - last year I finally got rid of my "skinny clothes" they were way too short.  Being a fat kid really isn't all that fun.  Gym class was a nightmare. 

Sure I'll climb that rope.... right after I sprout wings and fly a few laps around the gym. 

Now I work with a few kids who are fat.  I really really want to fix them.  I want to tell them to save themselves before its too late.  I want to say - for today's therapy session run down the street and back.  But then I remember the time I was in 3rd grade and my teacher put me on a diet.  She made me weigh in before school and my mom had to turn in a food journal for a grade.  Then to celebrate me losing weight she took me out to lunch to a greasy hamburger place.  That was confusing. 

When I was in 5th grade my grandma made me walk with her.  She walked so fast I just wanted to die the whole time, and I didnt understand why I was being punished.  I still think my granny is 3/4 evil for that.  If any of you parents out there have chubby kids - try this strategy - make them healthy food.  That means you have to eat healthy yourself.  Then, make physical activity fun.  Your grandma making you chase her down the street every afternoon is not fun.  Its boring and slightly painful.  I have a feeling if my granny had suggested playing tag or tackle football in the backyard, I might be skinny today

We all know fat kids get made fun of.  I'll be honest - fat grown ups get made fun of too, but its not quite as obvious.  More side glances, snickers, and whispers.  Unfortanetely I'm very observant. 

For fat kids there are a few strategies they can use when they get teased:

1.  Denial:  "I am not fat!"

This strategy is just plain stupid.  Once you say this, you just get made fun of for also being blind or delusional. 

2.  Tattle:  Miss Smith, Johnny called me fat! 

It feels good watching Johhny get blasted by the teacher.  You stand there watching, arms folded over your chest, and a smirk on your face.  Unfortunately, that afternoon on the bus, Miss Smith will be gone, and Johnny will just have a new audience. 

3.  Aggression:  *BEAT THEM*   Make the teaser sorry they ever messed with you. 

Unfortunately unless you can sit on them quick enough, you probably aren't athletic enough to do much damage, and if they run away - well you probably won't be able to catch them. 

4.  Tease back:  I can lose weight, but there's nothing you can do about being ugly.

This can be fun, but come on, you're better than that. 

5.  Humor: Oh my gosh!  Thank you!  I had been wondering about that, and since my mirror broke, I wasn't sure if I was fat or not.  Thank you so much for helping solve this mystery!  I LOVE YOU!!!

This is your best bet.  Nobody likes a fat bully, a fat whiner, or a fat tattler, but a fat funny person can still have lots of friends. 

When I was in 9th grade, Daniel Q used to start singing that song - "Big Girls Don't Cry" every time I walked into social studies class.  I ignored it for a while.  I acted like I didn't know what he was doing, but then finally one day, I started singing along.  Then I thanked him and let him know him serenading me every day had helped me stop being a cry baby.  He laughed.  We became friends after that.  He beat up someone for calling me fat.  He later went to prison and continued to defend fat convicts. 


So now I'm going to give some advice to the parents out there - and for you grown ups who are still mean to fat people... you know who you are  (Donnie).  You might think its ok to make fun of fat people, because well, they are fat.  They eat too much.  It's their problem.  They should just stop eating.  Well believe me - there hasn't been one second in my life that I enjoyed being fat.  If it were as easy as eating less I would have done it.  I want to do it.  I desperately do, but its oh so very hard.  I will overcome it, but it is a struggle you cannot really understand unless a Dr. has told you that you are morbidly obese. 

My advice is this - teach your kids that a person's value has nothing to do with their size, color, or economic status.  In order to teach your kids that, you're going to need to actually start believing it too.  It's going to be hard for you, but if I can lose weight you can stop being mean.  This was supposed to be funny.  I don't really know if you're mean or not. 

One final note - you might think this is all very sad.  Yes, I know it's sad. It's sad that boys used to moo at me when I got on the school bus every day, and it's sad that the neighborhood kids would laugh and call me an easy target when they pelted me with snowballs.  However, its ok to laugh.  We must laugh at sad things so we don't let the sadness win. Hallelujah.

I'll try and be skinnier next time I post, but I'm on vacation, so.....